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Well i have finally had enough strength and gutts to say good-bye to my children. Strangely enough It did not have as strong of an effect on me as I thought it would. I guess getting ready for it for the last couple of months helped. I was really glad that they took it very well as well. Although I suspect that Julie might be simply hiding it. She and I have always had a connection that surpassed everything. I know that they are going to be well taken care off. I know that they are loved and that's all that matters. I can finally rest. Kind of shitty though. Finally I was happy and loved for the first time in my life and it is over so soon. Oh well. I can't say that I have any other regrets though. Now all that is left is to give this damn doctors another chance. Although they already told me that there isn't anything that can be done.
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